


The Whomping Willow's Story

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Time Turner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2004-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of true love and everlasting friendship, as told to me by the Whomping Willow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

I'm a tree, me. True, I'm a very SPECIAL tree, but a tree nonetheless. I hope you're not prejudiced against thinking beings that don't have brains, because I'd really like to tell this story. The story of what I am, and why I'm here.

That big bearded chap with the rough voice uprooted me from the middle of the Forbidden Forest a long time ago. Did he give a second thought to Mrs Whomp and the little Whomplings? No! He just came stamping along with some horrible-looking Alsatian which peered at me suspiciously, growled, sniffed me, and then proceeded to pee all over me. I'm telling you, these dumb animals have no respect at all for plants. I gave it a good beating, though, until my kidnapper began brandishing a pink umbrella like a fencing sword and **petrified** me! Would you believe it? A common groundskeeper, casting spells on **me**? He carted me off, not even letting me say goodbye to my poor deserted family. I could see them waving their little branches piteously, and I couldn't do anything.

He took me into the middle of a large lawn. I'll admit, it was beautiful. The grass was lush and bright like emeralds, and the mountains off in the distance went from grey and white snowcapped rock to a faded, misty sort of blue right on the horizon. The sky was cyan, cloudless but fading to bright white where the sun was. I swear, it was mocking me. It beat its rays down on me relentlessly as the giant attacked a hole in the ground with his spade, widening and deepening it. My roots had begun to curl by the time he was done.

"Up yeh go," he grunted as he wrapped his thick arms around my trunk and lifted me. His hands were so sweaty they slipped a few times. I had bruised roots the next morning, but it's not as if I could do anything about them. Besides, he shredded his palms on my bark. Ha.

So, I was planted. **Planted**. How undignified is that? I watched the giant stamp away with that godforsaken dog, then looked around. I could see a castle nearby, a huge building of grey stone with dark slate roofs on the countless turrets and towers, and colourful flags curling in the light breeze. Off to my left was a wide lake. And... if I could breathe I would have gasped in shock... about a hundred feet to my right was a Forest! The edge of the Forbidden Forest! **Home**! So near, yet so far! Of course, my kidnapper hadn't taken the spell off me until I was firmly stuck in the ground. Lucky for him, too. I don't take kindly to being segregated, thank you very much. If I could move, I'd sue! This is so unfair!

Okay, rant over. For now.

I was here for about four weeks, I think, before anything interesting happened. I spent most of my time just watching the other trees, and trying to beat my kidnapper when he came to water me. I remember it was summer, a very hot summer, and it hadn't rained in ages, so I suppose I should be thankful he didn't just leave me here to wither. Hmm.

Anyway. One day my attention was dragged from a pretty little holly tree at the edge of the Forest who'd been looking at me coyly for a few days. A load of stampeding children were coming up to the castle! There was a multitude of them! Some were coming in boats over the lake, others came in these weird carriage things, and they were all being loud.

I did my best to ignore them, but I was curious. Where was I? I worked it out the next day. An old man with a long white beard led a little boy over to me. The boy was medium height but quite thin, and he had longish light brown hair. He was wearing a uniform robe, and I decided that the castle must be a school. The old man spoke to the boy.

"This is the Whomping Willow, Remus," he said. I swelled with pride that the old man knew my name and didn't just call me 'tree' like the groundskeeper had done. My bark creaked and he looked at me for a moment before continuing. "We planted it specially for you. Let me show you how it works." He took out his wand and poked at a little knothole at the base of my trunk. Immediately, I felt... well, it was indescribable. I felt like I was floating in a comfortable, black void. I suddenly didn't feel the need to hit anything, and I let my branches drop limply to the sides of my trunk. I didn't feel lonely any more, but I didn't feel as if there was anyone else there. It was so strange. I didn't want it to end, but after a minute the feeling went away and I lashed out at the two people angrily. The old man smiled and put his hand on the trembling boy's shoulder.

"Don't be frightened of him, Remus."

"Hi.. him, sir?"

"Yes. Don't you know trees have feelings too? Would you like being called 'it' all the time?"

"No, er... of course not."

I calmed down a bit at that. The old man was obviously a good sort of chap, and he knew what he was talking about. That comforted me. Perhaps it wouldn't be too bad staying here... and Holly was **very** pretty indeed...

I've been there since that day. For the first two weeks, I couldn't work out why the old man had shown Remus how to make me peaceful, but then on the night of the full moon, I understood.

A woman in white robes and a funny little hat led Remus over to me. The poor boy looked decidedly peaky. Okay, he looked terrible. He was crying and clutching his stomach as if he were in intense agony as he took out his wand and prodded the knothole. I saw him disappear into a tunnel in the ground at the base of my trunk. A while later, I heard roars and crashing, very faint. Roots are very sensitive, you know, and a couple of mine hung from the roof of the tunnel, so I heard everything. That was Remus making all that noise. It was a full moon. It clicked. Remus was a werewolf, and he had to go through the tunnel to transform so he wouldn't hurt anyone. Once more, I swelled with pride that the old man had given **me** such an important job as guarding the tunnel entrance. When Remus came out the next morning, looking very pale and tired, with scratches all over his face and hands, I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring pat on the shoulder. He jumped a little, but he looked at me closely and smiled wearily.

"Thanks for looking after me, sir," he whispered, before heading back to the castle.

So, there we have it. The beginning of my story. I won't pretend I love it here, because I don't. Holly is a little slut. She flirted with me for months from across the hundred feet of grass, then she took up with this big strong oak tree beside her. I could almost hear her giggling at me. Well, I don't need her! I've got Remus. He's my friend. He sometimes comes and sits against my trunk to read or do homework when he wants to get away from the crowd. He trusts me now, and I trust him. He doesn't even need to poke at my knot to calm me. I just stand here quietly, sometimes with a friendly branch slung across his shoulders. He's a good kid, and I wish I could speak so I could tell him how much our friendship, strange though it may be, means to me. Maybe one day he'll know. But for now, I'll just carry on giving him protection on moonlit nights and shade on sun-filled days, and hope he enjoys my quiet company as much as I do his.


	2. Two

Remus and I have been here for six years now. They've been six rather lonely years for me, but Remus cheers me up every time I see him. I don't know why he talks to me -- I don't think **he** knows why he talks to me -- but he does. He's still as quiet as he was that day I first met him, although he's a lot different physically. He's taller and very good looking, with amber-brown eyes, a quirky smile, and a mop of longish sandy-blond hair that sometimes goes wavy when it's damp.

I think talking to someone who won't interrupt or laugh at him helps. You see, he has three great friends. One is even quieter than him, but the other two are complete jokers. I know he loves them all dearly, but it's just the way he is -- sometimes he just wants to talk.

I remember the first day he brought his friends to meet me. It was in the winter of his first year. They all came up carrying their broomsticks, obviously from a flying lesson or something, and I immediately began flailing my boughs about. My job was to protect Remus, and protect him I would.

He prodded at the knot with the end of his broomstick and took one of my branches in his hand. He stroked it gently, and when the knot trick finally wore off, I still felt calm.

"Sir," he said, in his quiet voice. I like it when he calls me that (I bet no one ever calls Holly's oak Sir), but I wish I could talk to him, to tell him to call me Willow. He's my best friend, and friends should be on first-name terms.

"Sir, these are my friends," he said. The others didn't seem perturbed that he was talking to a tree. I assume he'd told them about me, and I was impressed by his courage. I studied the other boys carefully. "This is James Potter," Remus said, pointing at a boy with messy black hair and glasses. The next boy had longer black hair and was taller than the other three. "This is Sirius Black. And this..." he pointed to a chubby, nervous-looking boy, "this is Peter Pettigrew. They're my friends. Please don't hurt them."

I felt a sudden stab of jealousy. I mean, come on! I'm a tree! How many friends do I have all to myself? I'll tell you: none. I thought Remus would go off and leave me, only returning once a month when he had no other choice. I'm ashamed to admit that now. I underestimated him. He never left me. He kept coming back whenever he needed to get something off his chest, and I loved him for it. Whomping Willows aren't exactly the most understanding species of plant in the world, but he gave me a chance to listen, and I took it, and I liked it. I **liked** watching the young boy get to grips with his schoolwork, and I waved my branches in fatherly pride when he ran up to me at the end of his first year, cheeks pink and eyes bright with excitement, and told me he'd come top of the class in Defence Against The Dark Arts.

Over the years, I came to learn many things about him. His favourite subjects were Defence and Care of Magical Creatures (most likely because of his lycanthropy), but he hated Potions and Arithmancy. He loved watching Quidditch but wasn't very good at playing it, although he was a fantastic flier and won nearly every race he entered in the school sports competitions. He got his first girlfriend in his fourth year -- she was a beautiful blonde Slytherin called Narcissa Dixon. Remus fell out with his friends about that because it was traditional for Gryffindors and Slytherins to be bitter enemies.

"Well, she said she loved me," he said quietly as we watched the sunset together.

That's awfully quick, I thought, but teenagers are like that, aren't they?

He hugged his knees to his chest and leaned back against my trunk, sighing heavily before going on. "She's intelligent and funny and beautiful, and she, um... she kisses like... well, never mind. I don't know if I'm in love with her, but I think I might be headed in that direction. Still, I can't help wondering if she's worth it. The other guys hate me now."

It turned out Narcissa only pretended to love him to make another Slytherin jealous. Remus hated himself for choosing her over his friends and for about a month after the break-up he moped about, either on his own in the library or with me, so he wouldn't have to face his friends, but then they realised he was sorry and they all made up. In his fifth year, he made friends with another Slytherin, a dark-haired boy called Severus Snape. James, Sirius and Peter hated Severus and were always playing tricks on him, so Remus kept their friendship secret. He didn't want to lose any of his friends, so he made sure I was the only one who knew about Severus.

One warm autumn day, about eight months ago now, Peter was watching James and Sirius at Quidditch practice and Severus was doing homework or something, so Remus came to see me. He brought some sandwiches and a book with him, but they lay untouched on the grass. He talked to me instead.

"I haven't told Severus about my... illness," he admitted. I patted him on the shoulder encouragingly, and he smiled at me and went on. "We get on great, but I think he has problems with people who are different. He can't help it; he was just brought up like that. He's starting to realise something is wrong because I keep disappearing every month without telling anyone where I'm going. I don't know what to do. If I tell him, he might hate me, but I don't like keeping secrets from him."

I shrugged my branches, not knowing what to suggest (and unable to tell him even if I'd had something to say). I knew James, Sirius and Peter were the only ones who knew about Remus being a werewolf, and I knew how hard it had been for him to tell them. He hadn't even mentioned it until his friends had realised it themselves in their second year; before that, they thought I was just a random tree Remus seemed to like.

Remus ran his hand through his hair, which was streaked with grey -- it always happened in the few days before his transformations, then disappeared afterwards until the next month. "I wish I were normal," he whispered. He picked up his book and sandwiches and walked slowly back to the castle. I saw him toss the bread into the lake; the giant squid caught it and dragged it under the surface of the water. If I could have sighed in helplessness and pity, I would have done so. I could tell Remus felt lonely even with his four great friends around him, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to comfort him.

~+~

Remus went down the tunnel that night to transform. I gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder as he went in, and thought nothing else of it. It was just another transformation, I thought to myself. I was so, so wrong.

I was sleepily glaring at Holly and her oak at the edge of the forest, but I snapped to attention when I heard voices. I peered through the darkness. The full moon was bright and it cast its bluish light over the school grounds, breaking everything up into almost geometric patterns of black and white. I saw two figures walking towards me, and soon they got close enough for me to be able to hear what they were saying.

"...and he's there," one of them said. The other sounded doubtful.

"He's gone exploring down a secret passageway on his own? And this is what he does every month? Black, if this is just another of your stupid schemes to get me in trouble, I'll..."

"Oh, shut up, Snape! You asked where he was. I'm telling you. Are you going or not?"

Black and Snape? Sirius and Severus, I suddenly realised. Sirius was sending Severus down the tunnel after Remus, knowing full well he'd get hurt! I began waving my branches frantically. I couldn't let him go down there! I felt a burst of irritation at Sirius. This inter- house rivalry is going too far, I thought to myself. Someone could get killed. Someone **will** get killed if Severus goes down that tunnel, and my best friend will be blamed for it, and probably end up in Azkaban for murder! I don't know why Sirius couldn't see that. I suppose it's because he's so confident and outgoing, he acts before he thinks.

"Poke at that knot in the wood with a stick," Sirius said, and Severus obeyed. I fought the drowsy, calm sensation as hard as I could, but he kept on poking until I had to give in. When it finally wore off, I could hear with my roots that Severus was walking slowly down the tunnel towards his doom.

I didn't know what to do. Well, I couldn't have done anything even if I **had** thought of an idea. I just stood there helplessly looking at Sirius. He stood just out of reach with his hands in the pockets of his jeans and a smug, slightly vicious-looking smile on his face. I knew it took about five minutes for Remus to run down the tunnel, so with Severus walking as slowly and cautiously as he was, I estimated there would be about fifteen minutes before he was ripped apart by the werewolf.

All of a sudden, I noticed another figure running flat-out across the grass towards me. It was James Potter, and as he got closer I almost recoiled from the look of fury on his face. Sirius turned round, and James grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him hard.

"Ow, James!"

"Have you sent Snape off down that tunnel?" Sirius just smiled, and James punched his friend hard across the face. "Sirius, you bloody idiot!" he shouted. "You know what'll happen if the werewolf kills him? Remus'll be executed!"

"What?!"

"Yes, I said executed. If you paid attention in Defence you'd know it's legal for registered werewolves to lead normal, human lives, but if they kill anyone, even if they only **hurt** someone, they'll be executed even though it's not their fault."

With another poisonous look, James pushed Sirius away from him hard, and ran down the tunnel. He didn't even need to calm me -- I wanted to co-operate, so I just lifted my branches and let him go.

I looked back at Sirius. He already looked pale in the moonlight, but I could see all the blood had drained from his face (except a dark dribble that ran from the corner of his lips, where James had hit him). Sirius paced up and down for a long time, and I listened. Faintly, I could hear Remus in the room at the other end, and Severus' slow footsteps, and James' hurried ones. I prayed he wouldn't be too late... I could tell Severus was very close to the werewolf now, but James still had quite a way to go. _Hurry up, James_ I urged him, silently.

"Snape! Stop, come back!" I heard James yell. Severus paused for a second, then began walking a little faster. James hurried up too, but I feared he'd be too late. Severus had such a big head start.

The beads of sweat on Sirius' forehead glittered in the moonlight, and I felt sap begin to roll down my trunk too. _Please, please..._ I prayed. I heard Severus open the door at the other end of the tunnel, then he yelled in fear and surprise. Remus... well, actually, it wasn't Remus. Remus is sweet and kind and quiet and funny and intelligent, and he'd never hurt anybody if he could help it. The werewolf, on the other hand, was thirsty for blood, and he snarled at Severus. I heard a scuffling sound, and instinctively knew James was too late. The werewolf had pounced.

I heard Severus yell again, this time in pain, then, thankfully, James reached the door too. "Stupefy!" he shouted, his voice breathless from his panicked run, and the snarling stopped. I heard Severus sobbing with fright and agony, and wondered how bad his injuries were, and whether they'd be bad enough to land Remus in Azkaban... or worse, with a noose around his neck.

Sirius couldn't hear any of what was going on. I tried to feel furious at him, but the look on his face made me think again. I've never seen anyone look as scared as he did right then, for the twenty minutes or so it took for James to rescue Severus and bring him back, and I forgave him. Sixteen-year-old boys always do stupid things, and I know he only intended it as a prank.

Neither James nor Severus spoke as they hurried back down the tunnel, so I didn't know what had happened to him until they climbed out of the tunnel entrance and collapsed on the grass. Sirius rushed over and knelt beside them, muttering, "Lumos." The light emanating from the tip of his wand was bright enough for me to see blood all over Severus' white t-shirt, and for a moment I thought the worst. I thought the werewolf had gutted him, or bit his jugular vein open, or something, but then he sat up. My bark creaked in relief. He'd just been clawed on his arm. Well, I say 'just'... it looked rather nasty and didn't seem to want to stop bleeding, but at least he wasn't dead. The string of expletives he spat at Sirius affirmed he wasn't about to die, either. No dying person can swear with such colour.

"Are you, uh, okay?" Sirius asked, in an uncharacteristically small voice. James just glared at him.

"If you ever get the urge to kill someone again, will you do it yourself and not put Remus in danger?" he hissed. He turned his attention back to Severus' arm, but Severus wrenched it away.

"Put Remus in danger? Put **Remus** in danger? What the hell are you talking about, Potter?" he shouted. "I'm the one who nearly died, and you're worried about **him**? He's nothing but a freak!"

"No, Snape, hang on a minute, will you just lis..."

"I'm going to make sure you two are expelled, at the very least! And that... that **thing** is going directly to a zoo or Azkaban, where it belongs!" Severus spat. He stood up, and with a last furious glare, ran towards the castle.

James and Sirius sat on the ground in silence for at least ten minutes. Sirius kept opening his mouth as if to speak, but the look on James' face kept him quiet. Eventually, he did speak.

"James, I... I'm sorry," he whispered. He put his hand on James' arm, but James shook it off and glared at Sirius again.

"I'm sorry too. I'm sorry you're a stupid prat who can't face up to reality. Remus' illness isn't a joke, you know. It's not like you and me and Pete being Animagi. He can't control himself. If I hadn't gone after Snape then the werewolf would have killed him."

"James, please..."

"Will you shut up? For once in your ridiculous, fun-filled, carefree life will you just shut up and be serious?"

"I **am** Sirius." Sirius tried a smile, but dropped his eyes at the look on James' face. "Sorry."

"Do you know what I saw when I got to the end of the tunnel? The wolf had Snape pinned down on the floor and was just about to go for his throat. I had to Stun him. He... I... oh, god..."

I saw James' face crumple up, and he bit hard on his lip to keep himself from crying. I rested a branch on his shoulder for a moment, trying to comfort him. He looked at me in surprise, and smiled weakly, then turned back to Sirius.

"You're an idiot. You're my best friend and you know I love you to bits, but I've never hated anyone as much as I hate you right now."

"Please, James..."

"You could have got Snape killed..."

"James, listen..."

"...You could have got **me** killed..."

"I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt, I just wanted to scare him away..."

"...If Remus had hurt either one of us he'd have been dragged off to Azkaban and executed, if he wasn't lynched first by the panicking crowd..."

"He's trying to steal Remus away from me!" Sirius said, suddenly shouting. James stopped talking, and looked at Sirius. I watched them both carefully as Sirius burst into tears. Myriad emotions flitted across James' face -- the hate and anger and exasperation was replaced by confusion, then realisation, and finally pity. He put his arms around his friend and hugged him.

"Sirius, stop that. He's not yours. No one can steal him from you."

"But I love him," Sirius sobbed, clinging to James as if his life depended on it. I tell you, I almost felt myself withering in shock. Sirius was in love with Remus? I'd never have believed it if I hadn't seen Sirius' face myself when he said it.

"Funny way you've got of showing it," James said, still telling Sirius off but forcing himself to be gentle too. "If you really loved him, you'd want him to be happy. And if he's happy with Snape, then you should let him be." He paused. "Anyway, who says they were together like that? They were probably just friends. Remember the Dixon mess? Remus isn't gay."

Sirius sniffed hard, and James stroked his hair gently. Far away down the tunnel, I heard the werewolf begin to stir. I hoped James had remembered to close the door behind him after he'd Stunned the wolf, but I couldn't remember hearing the door slam. I waved my branches at Sirius and James, and they scrambled away.

The next morning, Remus emerged from the tunnel in floods of tears and went straight to the castle. I could see the events of the night before had distressed him greatly -- he always says a few words to me after his transformation, but that morning he didn't. He returned later on in the day, with his arm in a sling.

"I bit myself," he explained, holding up his bandaged arm. "I smelled human flesh and had to have blood." He sat down against my trunk and sighed heavily. "Professor Dumbledore made Severus promise to keep my illness a secret. Sirius didn't even get a detention -- Dumbledore said he'd been punished enough by his own guilt and regrets, and he said he'd let him off, as long as he apologised to Severus." Remus bit his lip lightly, and his eyes darkened with emotion. "Sirius found out I was friends with a... with a **Slytherin** again. And he says he just wanted to scare him away, but now Severus hates me," he said quietly. "When I was getting my arm seen to I tried to speak to him. I hurt him pretty badly, and I just wanted to apologise and explain everything, but he got his wand out and said he'd kill me if I ever spoke to him again." He paused, then whispered, "I believe him too. He had this look in his eyes... I've never seen hate like that before, ever."

I squeezed Remus' shoulder gently and felt helpless as I watched his tears begin to spill over his lashes.

~+~

So, back to the present. Remus and the others have just left the castle for the summer holidays, and I'm all alone again for the next six weeks. I'm happy, though. I'm happy because **Remus** isn't alone. Even though he's lost one of his best friends, he still has three he'd die for, and I know they'd all die for him too. Remus was, quite understandably, furious with Sirius for a few months, but they made up eventually. Remus still doesn't know, though. He doesn't know Sirius' feelings for him go far beyond friendship. I don't think he'll ever know. Sirius has definitely not told him, and I don't think he will. I'm not sure what to think about that. I know they could have something very special if they got together, something rare and wonderful. True love starts with friendship, after all, and Sirius and Remus are so close already. As James said, though, Remus isn't gay. He's still pining after Narcissa, he told me so a month or two ago. Sirius seems to understand that. I almost wish they'd get together... call me sentimental, but it'd be so cute. No, what I want most of all is for Remus to be happy. After all, that's what friends are for.


	3. Three

For some reason, a new game became popular in Remus' seventh year. Groups of students dared each other to come up close and touch my trunk. It was so bloody annoying! They were like flies buzzing around me all the time when all I wanted to do was be with Remus. The idiots that kept on pestering me just made me value his friendship even more.

One of the only times I've seen Remus lose his temper was when he was sitting beside me, idly doodling on a scrap bit of parchment as he thought of the best way to begin an essay or something. He looked up suddenly and glared. Some Gryffindor fifth years were standing there nudging each other.

"Not again," Remus muttered. He put his quill down and folded his arms. "What do you want?"

"How do you do that, Lupin?" one of the boys asked.

"Do what?"

"Sit next to that tree without being beaten to a bloodied pulp?"

"Go away, Gudgeon. I'm busy."

The boys -- Gudgeon, seemingly the ringleader of the little gang -- stepped forwards. I pushed him back. He took another step, so I shoved him hard and he stumbled over his own feet and fell over.

"Tell me how you do that!" he demanded, as he got up and brushed himself down.

"It's none of your business!"

"Get out the way, Lupin, I want to try it."

I raised my branches menacingly and got myself ready to protect my friend.

"I'm not moving," Remus said calmly. Gudgeon shrugged, then grabbed Remus' ankle (moving faster then a boy his size should) and tugged hard, dragging him across the grass so his robe and shirt bunched up under his armpits.

Well, that was it. All restraints were broken, and I lashed out at Gudgeon with as many branches as I could. Remus scrambled away and surreptitiously poked the knot to calm me. When I came to, Gudgeon was lying on his back trying to protect his face with his arms, and Remus was straddling his waist and punching him relentlessly. Every time his fist made contact with Gudgeon's face or arms or body, it made a loud, meaty thwacking sound. His friends had disappeared off towards the castle (to get help, I imagine), and if I hadn't intervened... well, I don't know. It was sort of scary, to be honest. I'd never seen Remus like that before, ever. Sirius was the one who got into fights the most (he took care of James' fights too, seeing as James was Head Boy and had to set an example to the younger students).

I gently tapped Remus' shoulder, but he shook me off and delivered another crushing punch. He lifted his fist again and I wrapped the thin end of one branch around it quickly and pulled him away. He was breathing heavily, baring his teeth. His eyes were glinting with hate and anger... and **fear** , which I found a bit odd.

Gudgeon stood up. His breathing was erratic too, but that was due to sobs and the fact that Remus or I had broken his nose. He was covered in his own blood. It looked nasty, but it wasn't bad enough to stop him from hobbling off back to the castle.

Remus looked at his own hands in half-disbelief, then used his robe to methodically wipe as much of Gudgeon's blood off as possible. "I'd better go inside," he muttered. "I expect I'll have a detention or two for this."

I tell you, the whole incident seemed to go against everything I knew about Remus. He was usually so calm, so quiet and studious and intelligent and thoughtful. He could plot and scheme as well as his friends, but while they were outgoing, he kept his mischievous nature to himself most of the time, and he was certainly never violent.

Turns out, when I hit that boy and the first trickle of blood appeared, Remus was scared the officials would cut me down and take me away, the way people dispose of slavering dogs that bite their children. Gudgeon shouldn't have been near me anyway so it was his fault, but you know what officials are like. The Gudgeon name is an old, respectable one... and rich too. It's funny how the glint of Galleons blinds people sometimes.

What Remus did, he did to save me. I don't know how things would have turned out, but as they were, Remus received a week of detention and lost fifty points for almost taking Gudgeon's eye out, but no one came near me again.

Well, no one but my best friend.

~+~

The rest of the year was uneventful. Remus and his friends had the usual teenage dilemmas about girlfriends (in Sirius' case, boyfriends), schoolwork, Quidditch, acne... I could go on forever. Nothing really serious happened, though, and before I knew it, the year was over. Remus had come top of the class in Defence, with a score of 386% -- the highest in seven centuries, he told me proudly, and I burst into tears of pride. Okay, it was sap, but I'm a tree. It's the best I could do.

"I'm... uh, I'm leaving now," he said to me awkwardly, early one summer morning. The sun was bright and the birds were singing, but I felt sad, almost empty. I couldn't imagine life without Remus. I know our friendship was strange, but it was all I had to live for, segregated as I was from everyone else.

Remus bit his lip, and stepped forwards hesitantly. He put his hand on my trunk. "Thanks for... well, for everything, sir," he said. His voice was shaking, and I realised he was as upset as I was. "I'll visit as much as I can, I promise," he whispered. "Goodbye."

~+~

I had no idea where Remus was going or what he was doing. He'd told me many times over his last year at school that he was thinking of going to university and studying advanced defence so he could come back to Hogwarts and teach, but he also told me he was debating a career in journalism for the Daily Prophet, and was considering training to be an Auror. He wasn't certain, though, so of course neither was I. I only knew what he told me.

He visited me once, about a year after he left school. I was overjoyed to see him, and we spent a happy couple of hours chatting. Well, of course, **I** didn't speak. He told me all about how he and his friends were getting along. James married his girlfriend Lily a month after they left school, he told me, and their first baby was due in a week or so. James was training to be a transfiguration teacher -- it seems all the work he put into becoming an Animagus really paid off, because he'd come top of the class in that subject. Sirius was working during the day in Quality Quidditch Supplies in Diagon Alley and at night in the Leaky Cauldron, trying to earn enough money to go travelling round the world on his ridiculous flying motorbike. Peter... well, no one really knew what Peter was doing. He spent days away from his home, even weeks at a time. He told the others he was working for the Ministry, but refused to say anything else.

"We think he's a spy," Remus confided in me. "We never would have expected it... but obviously we don't know him as well as we thought we did." He didn't speak for a while, then he sighed deeply. "I'm going to university in France," he told me. "I've decided to study Defence, then I can come back here and teach. In fact..." He checked his watch, then stood up. "My train for Dover leaves in fifteen minutes, then I'm taking the ferry to Calais. I have to go." He bit down on his lip lightly and rested a hand on my trunk. I covered it with the end of a branch and squeezed. "Goodbye, sir," he whispered. I watched him walk off across the grounds, and I fixed the image in my memory, because I knew I wouldn't see him for a long time. That image of the tall, slender boy with long sandy brown hair and crimson robes, carrying a suitcase and a battered racing broom, was the only reminder I had of my best friend for more than twelve long years.

~+~

The twelve years dragged by like twelve centuries... no, like twelve eternities. Nobody spoke to me, not once. I wanted to die, but of course I couldn't kill myself and no fortunate accidents happened, so I just stood there day after day, freezing in winter, burning up in summer, talking to nobody, unable to move. The one good thing that happened was when that bearded giant chopped Holly's oak down to make a new door for his hut. I laughed at her for days about that. It made me feel a bit better to know there was another unhappy tree nearby. Unhappy. Yes. I was so, so miserable. I was desperately lonely without Remus.

The monotony of my life was broken one late summer's day. I'd just watched the students come up to the castle in those weird carriages, and after trying to hit an owl that flew to close to my branches, I settled down with a heavy sigh, just waiting for something to happen. I was always waiting for something to happen, but nothing ever did... until that night.

I heard a funny noise, like an animal growling. I looked around. Nothing. All of a sudden, I realised the noise was coming from above me, and I looked up. What was it? There was something flying towards me, something that was too big to be a broom, and even too big to be a magic carpet. I flinched when I realised it was heading straight for me, but because I was planted in the ground I couldn't move. The pain when that bloody thing ploughed into my trunk was immense. I thought I was paralysed for a moment; I tried to move some of my branches but I couldn't. I realised they were underneath the thing, and I gave them a sharp tug, pulling off some of my bark. God, that hurt. You humans wouldn't understand... imagine being scalped. That's what it was like. The raw white wood underneath the bark was dripping with sap -- imagine blood running down bone -- and I looked at it in horror for a moment. I was writhing all over in agony, but slowly another feeling took over the pain. Fury. I was so angry... SO ANGRY! How could something **dare** to crash into me like that? I raised my bleeding limbs and brought them smashing down on top of the thing. It made a dull clanging sound, and between blows I got a good look at it. It was some sort of carriage, a bit like the ones that brought the students up to the castle, only it was made of metal. I didn't stop to think about whether there were people in there. I didn't really care. I just wanted to inflict as much pain on the thing as it had done to me. Actually, I probably did more damage to myself doing that, but I was mad with rage. I ignored the pain and just kept on hitting it.

Suddenly, the thing burst into life. Its lights came on and it rolled backwards a few feet, then the doors burst open and two boys fell out. I lashed out at them too, but luckily for them they managed to get away before I could give them any real injuries. As they ran towards the castle, my vision began to blur... but just before I blacked out completely, I could have sworn one of the boys was James Potter.

When I regained consciousness, there was a short grey-haired woman rubbing ointment into my branches and wrapping them in bandages. I recognised her instantly as the woman who had sometimes helped Remus when he was getting to grips with using the tunnel. The stuff she put on me must have been some sort of painkiller, and I relaxed in her hands. There was a blond man with her. He kept trying to put my branches into slings, but he had no idea what he was doing.

"Oops-a-daisy!" he said with a wide, toothy smile as he dropped my branch for the fourth time. It hit the ground, and I recoiled as a bolt of pain shot up the limb. I reached back then poked him hard in the eye, and he staggered off towards the castle. The woman just muttered something under her breath and glared at the man's back, then carried on bandaging me.

It took me a good few months to heal properly, and during that time I spotted the black-haired boy with glasses many times. Of course, I knew it couldn't be James, but they looked so alike. It hit me one day who he must be. James and Lily were having a baby, Remus had told me all those years ago. This boy must be it. He looked about twelve. Had it only been twelve years since I saw Remus? It felt like so much longer. James' son reminded me of my best friend, and the memories hurt even more than when the boy had crashed the metal carriage into me.

Another year passed without much happening, and then began the dramatic series of events that led up to the present time.

Remus came back.

I'd lost count of the days, but it was the end of summer and I knew the students would be returning to school sometime soon. I was just standing there staring into space as usual when I noticed motion to my left. I ignored it for a moment thinking it was just a deer or something from the Forest, but then I realised it was coming towards me and I lashed out.

"Hey!" The figure ducked, and my branch whistled through air. I raised it again, but then I got a good look at who it was, and if I'd had a jaw it would have dropped in utter shock. I dropped my branch instead, and just looked at Remus. He held my branch and stroked it soothingly, but apart from that, neither of us moved for a minute. Eventually he spoke.

"I'm sorry I haven't visited for so long," he said quietly. "There's a lot of things that've been going on, and... well, I can tell you another time if you like. I'm teaching Defence here now." He seemed unsure of what to do, so I pulled him close and hugged him as if my life depended on it. Maybe it did.

He sat on the grass at the foot of my trunk for the rest of the day, not as talkative as I remembered him to be. He just sat in silence for hours at a time without even moving. He's always been a deep thinker, but he used to share his philosophical thoughts and 'What if?'s with his friends and me. I wondered what was going through his mind that day. Something bad, I decided; his face looked gaunt and weary, and his hair was greyer than ever. I assumed it was because it would be a full moon that night, and I left him to his musings. I was so happy to be with him again.


	4. Four

Remus didn't have to use the tunnel at all for the rest of that year.

"Severus is teaching here too," he told me a month after his arrival. I looked at him in confusion; I couldn't remember ever seeing Severus at school before. At least, not since he was a student here. Then, I saw one of the teachers, a man whose name I'd never caught, walking across the grass towards us. This teacher was hated by nearly everyone -- cold, bitter and sarcastic with greasy hair and a white face, I could see why. Remus nodded towards him. "That's him now."

I watched Severus in surprise. I remembered him to be a reasonably good-looking boy with long black shiny hair. Of course, hanging around with Lucius Malfoy he'd had no choice but to take great pains with his appearance. I wondered what had happened to him, what had made him let himself go so much. Had he fallen out with Lucius? I felt a pang of sympathy for him. He'd lost Remus **and** Lucius. I knew how it felt to lose one great friend, and Severus had obviously lost two. I patted him gently on the shoulder as he approached, and he jumped back a few steps.

"Why do you insist on sitting under this godforsaken overgrown weed, Lupin?" he sneered. I felt myself puff up with indignation. Weed? **Me**? I gave him a hard poke in the stomach. _No wonder he lost all his friends,_ I thought viciously.

Remus laid a gentle hand on my trunk, and I calmed down slightly. "He's not a weed, Severus, he's rather a remarkable specimen of a nearly extinct species."

Severus ignored the comment (although I never forgot it) and thrust a smoking goblet at Remus. "You weren't in your office, so I thought I should check here. You need to drink this soon, there's only an hour until sunset."

"Thank you, Severus," Remus said, setting the goblet down on the grass beside him. Severus looked at us both for a moment longer, then turned and stalked back to the castle. Remus sniffed the liquid carefully, and wrinkled his nose up in disgust. "Ugh, that smells awful!" he said. I touched him gently on the arm and pointed to the goblet. "It's Wolfsbane Potion," Remus explained. "It's very complicated to make, so it's lucky for me Severus is here too. He's the best potions-maker in the world." He paused for a moment and smiled sadly. I think he was remembering how the two of them used to be friends. "It makes me turn into a normal wolf instead of a werewolf when I transform, so I can just lock myself in my office and stay there until morning."

I felt a little hurt; I suddenly realised how useless I was, and it upset me. Remus has always been sharp and perceptive, and he picked up on my feelings right away.

"No, don't be like that," he said gently. "This doesn't change anything. I'll still come and see you and talk to you and sit with you... if that's okay, I mean."

Of course it was okay.

I was blissfully, blindly happy. Yes, I said blind. I couldn't see that there was something troubling my best friend. I feel awful, but I admit it freely -- I had absolutely no clue of the horrors he'd been through and the pain he was struggling to keep bottled up inside him. That's just like Remus, you know. He hates to be a nuisance. When he was at school he didn't like telling people his problems because he thought of himself as a burden. Well, **this** burden was too much for him to hold on to, and he lost his grip sometime in spring.

Remus staggered over to me, looking exhausted and frightened. He fell to the ground at the foot of my trunk and promptly burst into tears. I looked at him in surprise, unsure of what to do. Eventually, I just put the end of a branch on his shoulder and waited for him to cry himself dry.

It didn't take long -- the ferocity of his sobs made up for that -- and soon he'd quietened down. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and began to explain.

"I don't know if you know this, but James and Lily and Peter are dead. Sirius was working for Voldemort and he betrayed them all."

What?

I refused to believe it at first, then I realised Remus would never lie or joke about something like that. I felt sick. I didn't know trees could do that.

"He went to prison," Remus whispered, "but he escaped, and now he's trying to kill Harry, to finish off the whole family. He was in school last night. He pulled a knife on Harry's best friend. And I've heard Harry keeps seeing what he thinks is the Grim everywhere." He paused, then looked at me with a haunted expression. "Dumbledore doesn't know Sirius is an Animagus," he said. "That must be how he's getting into the school. I should tell Dumbledore... but I can't! I couldn't bear him knowing my friends went behind his back and did all sorts of illegal spells just so I didn't feel so alone."

~+~

I don't think Remus told Dumbledore about Sirius -- my friend looked just as pale and strained for the rest of the year, and the stress was making his transformations more difficult. When he came to see me the mornings after, he'd never bitten or scratched himself like he had before but he looked more drained than ever. I started to get really scared after that. I think he was literally worrying himself to death, and I felt so helpless. I couldn't talk to him, couldn't tell him how I felt, couldn't comfort him and tell him it wasn't his fault, couldn't tell my best friend how much he meant to me and that if he didn't stop wasting away I wouldn't be able to bear it and I'd wither and die too.

The weeks dragged past, then in summer things changed dramatically and in ways nobody had ever expected.

The dusky light of the setting sun bathed the castle grounds in a beautiful pinky-orange hue, and if I had lungs I'd have been holding my breath in awe. It was moments like that which reminded me of the indescribable beauty of nature... then as the sun slipped beneath the horizon and I caught a glimpse of the full moon behind the heavy clouds, I remembered how horrible nature could be too. As if to emphasise that point, I heard a howl coming from the direction of the groundskeeper's cottage. I looked through the darkness toward it, but I couldn't see anything.

There was a moment of silence, then I heard more screams and yells, and three people appeared out of nowhere and headed straight for me. I was terrified! I remember Remus saying something about it being impossible to Apparate onto Hogwarts grounds, so the sudden appearance of these mysterious figures scared me half to death. As soon as they got within my reach I began pounding at them as hard as I could. I suddenly noticed a large black dog dragging one of the figures into the tunnel, and I felt a pang of dread. I could have recognised that dog anywhere. I'd seen it enough times, running around me and nipping playfully at his friend the werewolf, whilst the stag and the rat watched in the background. The dog was Sirius Black, and he had taken a prisoner.

Something pressed my knot just then, and I waited impatiently for the dreamy sensation to wear off. When I was back to normal, there was nobody in front of me. I listened carefully with my roots... Sirius was dragging his prisoner up through the trapdoor, and the other two figures were about halfway along the passage.

I heard one of them, a girl, whisper, "Harry, I think we're in the Shrieking Shack," and another stab of horror gouged me deep. Harry and his friends were in the Shrieking Shack with Sirius!

I waved my branches frantically, searching for help, but there was nobody around.

I listened again, hoping, praying, **begging** for something to happen. It was quiet, much too quiet... I heard murmuring voices, then I jumped as someone shouted, "He's an Animagus!"

Stretching my roots to the point of pain as far as I could along the tunnel, I listened. There were more shouts, the sounds of a brief scuffle...

Then I heard something up above as well, and I turned my attention back to the night. I flailed my branches before I looked to see who was running towards me. It was Remus. He prodded my knot with a branch, in too much of a hurry to try and calm me with a few words like he usually did. He leaped in and began running as fast as he possibly could; he reached the other end in record time, and someone screamed for him. I heard his feet thundering up the stairs... then faintly, I heard him cast Expelliarmus. I relaxed slightly then. Harry was safe. Remus had disarmed Sirius. Everything would be okay.

There were more murmurs... then the girl, screamed, "I don't believe it! I didn't tell anyone! I've been covering up for you. Harry, don't trust him, he's been helping Black get into the castle, he wants you dead too -- **he's a werewolf!** "

The stabs of horror returned with a vengeance. I knew Remus hadn't been helping Sirius get into the castle, and I knew he certainly didn't want Harry dead... but by the sounds of things, Remus was on Sirius' side! I stretched my roots further, but I think I sprained something and I had to relax them. I'm not as young as I used to be -- I used to be able to hear everything that went on in the Shack, but now I was struggling and I could only hear the shouts.

"Get away from me, werewolf!" the boy shouted. I couldn't believe it. I didn't **want** to believe it, that Remus would betray Harry and join Sirius, but the tone of the boy's voice had me convinced.

More quiet talking, then, "And he was wrong! You've been helping him all the time!" That was Harry. I began 'sweating' with anxiety as the voices quietened down again.

All of a sudden, another figure ran across the grass to me. It was Severus. I contemplated giving him a few good hard whacks -- I was still sore over that weed comment -- but I lifted my branches so he could get in. He picked something up from the base of my trunk first. It was a cloak... and I realised why Harry and his friends had just appeared in front of me like that. It was an invisibility cloak. James' old cloak. Severus disappeared from view, but I heard him running down the tunnel.

"He's not Peter, he's Scabbers!" the boy yelled. _What?_ I thought in confusion. I listened carefully. Severus reached the end of the tunnel, but I couldn't make out the words anyone was saying for a long time... then the girl screamed. After a moment there was a bang, probably some sort of spell. I couldn't bear to think what it was.

"Keep quiet, you stupid girl!" Severus shouted. Another pause in which I couldn't make out the words.

"You're pathetic!" Harry yelled. "Just because they made a fool of you at school you won't even listen-"

What?! Now I was well and truly bewildered. Was **Harry** siding with Sirius now?!

"Silence! I will not be spoken to like that!" Severus screamed back. Then I heard three voices yell Expelliarmus, followed instantaneously by an ear-splitting bang. After that, they spoke quietly for a while, then I heard Harry shout.

"Then I should've let Snape take you!" A pause. "That's not true! He was their Secret-Keeper! He said so before you turned up, he said he killed them!"

Another pause. These silences were driving me crazy. I couldn't bear not knowing what was being said, whether Remus was on Sirius' side or Harry's side. Then, I heard two voices yell, "Three!"

Another agonising pause... then a shrill, squeaky voice joined the others. "He's come to try and kill me again!" the voice shrieked. I gave up trying to work things out just then and listened.

A long pause, then Sirius roared, "How dare you speak to Harry? How dare you face him? How dare you talk about James in front of him?" Another pause. "Don't lie! You'd been passing information to him for a year before Lily and James died! You were his spy!" The squeaky voice said something, then Sirius shouted, "Then you should have died! Died rather than betray your friends, as we would have done for you!"

I understood then... almost. Sirius was innocent! Someone else had betrayed James and Lily and Sirius had been accused of it... Remus **was** on Sirius' side, because Sirius was on Harry's! But who **was** the spy? And how had he gotten into the Shack without me knowing? Was there an entrance at the other end? I waited, listening hard.

After a while, I heard footsteps coming down the tunnel. They got louder and louder, and eventually the cat came out of the tunnel. It pressed my knot, although it didn't need to -- I would have let them out without hurting them. When I could move again, I saw the strange group making their way towards the castle -- Remus was in the lead, with the boy behind him and a man between them, manacled to their wrists. Behind them was Sirius, levitating Severus' body in front of him, and right at the back were Harry and the girl. I looked closer at the man with Remus. It was too dark to see his face... then a cloud moved and the bluish rays of the moon fell on the man's face -- and at last, I understood. It was Peter. Peter had betrayed James and Lily and Sirius had gone to prison for it. I could see Sirius glaring furiously at his old friend, and I looked at Remus to see his expression.

I almost withered and died right then as I realised. The moon. The **full** moon. Remus was shaking and writhing in the light, and I could tell at once he was transforming into the werewolf and not a normal wolf -- evidently, he'd forgotten his potion.

The werewolf tore itself free from the manacle, and Sirius yelled, "Run!" before transforming into the dog and fighting the wolf, keeping it away from the children and Severus' unconscious form. The wolf howled and ran towards the Forest; at the same time, Peter grabbed Remus' wand, Stunned the boy, then transformed into the rat and streaked off to hide. Sirius, Harry and the girl chased after him... and that was it. I couldn't see them any more. The only things I could see were Severus and the boy lying on the floor, bathed in the hateful light of the moon.

I hate not being able to move. There was nothing I could do to help, and I **hated** it. All I could do was listen and watch.

I saw a bright white shape over by the lake, but it was too far away for me to see what it was. Moments after that, Severus woke up. He seemed a bit disorientated, but he rubbed his eyes hard, conjured a stretcher for the boy, who was still unconscious, and strode off towards the lake.

~+~

I didn't see anything else that night. Well, I saw Remus stagger out of the Forest and into the castle at dawn, but I mean I didn't see anything else important.

He came to see me that afternoon. He sat with his back to my trunk, and sighed deeply. It was a strange sigh. He sounded happy, contented... but beneath that was anger, confusion, fear...

"I suppose you're wondering what happened," he said. I waved a branch in a 'go on' gesture. Remus drew one knee up and hugged it to his chest, resting his head on it sideways and looking morosely over the lake. " **Peter** is the one who betrayed James and Lily. It was him all along. All the grieving I've done for him is for nothing, all the wasted tears and wasted years... nothing." He lapsed into silence for a minute, then went on. "No one believes Sirius is innocent. Harry knows, and Ron and Hermione and Dumbledore, but no one else. He's had to go into hiding." I saw a tear glittering on Remus' cheeks, and he brushed it away absently. "I've not even let myself think about him over the years... but now I've seen him, now I know he's innocent and he rotted away in that awful place for twelve years for a crime he had nothing to do with... I can't bear it!"

He stood up suddenly and began pacing up and down in front of me. "He's my best friend. He was the first boy I made friends with here, and now he's the only friend I have left and he's had to go away again..." His voice rose as he spoke. I don't think he was paying any attention to what he was saying; I think he just needed to spill his jumbled, confused thoughts, and I listened. It was the least I could do. "He's my only friend, the best friend I've ever had. God, I missed him so much! I used to dream about him, every single night I had dreams of him holding me, and I didn't know why! I hated him, he was a murderer, but all I wanted was for him to be near me. And now I know he's innocent and he survived that ghastly place I want to hold him even more... I don't know **why**! That's the thing I hate. I'm so confused. I never wanted him like that before it all happened... maybe because he was always there beside me and I thought things would stay that way forever. Then he was gone, and... I missed him. It **burned** inside me, it was like an obsession. I couldn't bear not having James and Peter around, but when I lost Sirius as well it hurt so badly. It's excruciating, this feeling of loss. He's here, but he's not here. He's my best friend, but we haven't spoken for twelve years... those years... twelve **wasted** years. Stolen years. I wanted him... I **want** him... I love him."

That startled both of us. Remus sat down heavily, chewing on his lip and looking confused as he ran the last few babbled sentences through his mind. "I love him?" he repeated faintly. He tried it out a few times. "I love him. I love Sirius." He smiled at me weakly. "Well. This adds a new level of weirdness to the past few months."

He stood up again and rested his hand on my trunk. "I'm leaving again," he said quietly, all traces of humour gone. _No, not again!_ I thought hopelessly. He must have sensed it, because he nodded ruefully. "I have to. Severus told everyone I'm a werewolf. I can't stay. The parents will go mental." He checked his watch. "I'm going to collect my things now, then I'm leaving... but I promise I'll visit as much as I can. I'll be back over the summer. The whole old crowd are staying at the castle for a few weeks so we can hold meetings and things with the Order."

Old crowd? I thought. Order? I tapped his shoulder.

"Order of the Phoenix," he explained. He raised his left sleeve and showed me a shimmering red mark on his inner forearm -- a sort of tattoo, of a glorious bird. "It's sort of the antithesis to the Death Eaters. We're the elite of the 'good side', like Aurors but with more power. Sirius is part of the Order too," he said quietly, pulling his sleeve back down, "but I don't know whether or not he'll come back. We don't know where he is right now."

Remus left, and for four weeks I was lonely again. Then I had a visitor.

~+~

I'd been watching witches and wizards arrive all day. There were about twenty in all, I think, and I didn't recognise any of them except Dumbledore... until I saw a large black dog running towards me. Sirius sat down beneath my trunk and looked around warily. No one was in sight, so he stood up and transformed back into a man. I was pleasantly surprised -- the last time I'd seen him, his hair was long and matted, he was too pale, and his teeth were yellow. Now he looked more like the Sirius I'd become accustomed to when he was a pupil here. His hair was shorter -- still long, but only to his shoulders now -- and beautifully shiny, the obsidian hue of his name. His teeth were back to their familiar sparkling brilliance, and he had a slight tan. Being on the run seemed to be agreeing with him, I decided.

"Uh... hi," he said awkwardly. He paused as if waiting for an answer, but of course none came so he went on. "I feel a bit silly talking to a tree -- no offence of course, sir," he added quickly, raising his hands as if I was threatening him. "It's just I've never done this before. But Remus was always talking to you, and there's no one else I can really speak to until he gets here, so I hope you don't mind."

I gave him an agreeing pat on the shoulder. He jumped slightly, but relaxed when he realised I didn't want to hurt him. He crossed his legs and sat with his back to the castle, facing me. He started speaking, hesitantly at first then with increasing confidence, about where he'd been since the 'Peter episode', as he called it. He'd been talking for a while when I saw Remus by the castle. He walked over silently, pressing his finger to his lips and looking at me pointedly. I understood, and didn't let on to Sirius that anyone was there. Remus stood a few feet behind his friend and waited for him to finish speaking.

"...and Greece was beautiful, of course, especially as most of the people don't even know who I am. It's been more like a holiday than an escape, to be honest, because I've hardly had to hide at all... only holidays are supposed to be fun and I've been so lonely." He lapsed into a pensive silence, and Remus held his breath so as not to give himself away. "It's weird... you'd think I'd be used to loneliness after these last twelve years. But after seeing Remus again..." Sirius sighed deeply and didn't hear Remus draw in a sharp breath at the mention of his name. "I saw Remus again and all those old feelings came flooding back. I mean, they never went away, but thinking about love in a place like Azkaban is just glorified suicide. I made myself forget him so the Dementors couldn't take him from me. I wanted him all to myself... I still do. I saw him, and it was like a dam exploding or floodgates opening inside me. All the things I love about him burst out again... and all I wanted was for him to be there in that paradise with me. That's all I want **now**. I wish he was here so I could tell him how much I... well, everything. There's so much we need to catch up on."

"Hey, Sirius," Remus said quietly. Sirius let out a sharp cry of surprise and leapt to his feet.

"Oh, it's you," he said when he saw his friend. His cheeks coloured slightly. "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough," Remus said simply. He stepped towards Sirius; they stood about four feet apart and looked at each other. "How much you what?"

"What?"

"You said you wished I was here so you could tell me how much you... then you stopped. I'm here now. How much you what?"

Remus blushed as well, but didn't break eye contact. I found myself praying -- I don't know to whom, but I was praying, begging with whomever it is that sorts these things out to make them tell each other how they felt.

"Well..." Sirius said slowly. "How much I missed you. And how much your friendship means to me."

There was a long silence. _Thanks a lot,_ I thought irritably. _So much for prayers being answered._ Remus nodded once, then turned towards the castle.

"Come on," he said quietly. "Let's go inside." He started walking without looking back.

"And how much I love you," Sirius whispered. I perked up a little at that. Remus stopped dead, and I knew he'd heard. Werewolves, of course, have fantastic hearing. He turned and looked at Sirius again.

"What?"

"I wanted you to be here so I could tell you that I missed you, and that your friendship means more to me than I could ever say, because I love you."

Sirius stared stubbornly at the floor, embarrassed, and Remus stood his ground. His pink cheeks gave away his real feelings -- and, of course, I knew he loved Sirius too because he'd told me -- but still, he didn't move. He just looked at his friend for a long time.

_I've had enough of this,_ I thought impatiently after a full minute of uncomfortable silence. I put one branch against Remus' back and one against Sirius', and pushed hard. They fell forwards and had to grab onto each other to keep from falling... thankfully, it worked and they didn't let go. Remus had his arms around Sirius' neck and I could see his fingers playing with the silky black hair at the back of his head; Sirius had his thin arms around Remus' waist and was holding onto his back tightly.

"I love you," Sirius repeated. _Kiss him, you bloody great fool!_ I yelled silently to Remus. Of course, he didn't hear me. He just carried on running his fingers through Sirius' hair, then let one of his hands come around to lightly brush Sirius' cheek, the fingertip scratching lightly over day-old stubble and coming to rest on Sirius' lips.

Remus swallowed. His dry throat made a very loud click. "Sirius," he breathed. Sirius kissed his fingers lightly. "Uh..."

"Still so shy, Moony?"

Remus smiled sheepishly and dropped his eyes for a moment. "Um, yes." When he looked back cautiously, he was met with a wide smile that was lighting up Sirius' eyes like stars. Remus was slightly shorter, and he turned his face up until their lips were only a fraction of an inch apart... then Sirius leaned forwards and closed the gap between them.

I tried to look at something else as they kissed. I thought they could use a bit of privacy... but they looked so happy, so beautiful. So perfect. They seemed to belong together. I watched them kiss and hold each other tight and whisper words into each other's ears that should have been said many years before.

And I knew in that moment I'd be able to go on living when Remus left. I knew he'd feel happy and complete, and that's all I wanted for him.

After all... what are friends for?

~END~


End file.
